Final Fantasy XIII is finally out on PS3 and Xbox 360. Square-Enix’s newest adventure eschews the visiting towns/talking-to-people/choices focus of the previous games in the series in favor of a new battle and story-heavy system. And whether you enjoy it on the PS3 or pretend it doesn’t bother you that the Xbox 360 version is terrible, you’ll have a lot of free time on your hands watching those FMVs and hitting those “Auto-Battle” commands. So while you’re waiting, why not play a drinking game?

Take A Shot Every Time You promise yourself the game will get better than this. You run straight. Someone says the word “hero.” You read the Datalog to understand what the hell just happened. You look at the box to make sure it’s actually a Final Fantasy game.

Take Two Shots Every Time You need to balance out all that popcorn you’re eating during the cinematics. You’re not sure if you’re supposed to be attracted to Vanille or if that’s weird. You want Hope to shut the hell up. You want Snow to shut the hell up. You want everyone to shut the hell up.

Finish The Bottle Every Time The game finally lets you play twenty-five hours in. You see an unexpected romance developing from miles away. You actually miss Squall from FF8.

Remember That You Used To Have Dreams And Aspirations When You wonder if you’ve outgrown the Final Fantasy series or if Square-Enix has molested it into an interactive movie in which you’re given grand permission to press “X” every twenty minutes.